I have this faulty way of thinking that has surfaced once again just recently. And here it is: asking for things. I don’t know how to do it. And the worst part of it is that I always expect to get a “no.” I expect to be disappointed. Why?
Even since I was a little girl, this has been going on. Whenever we would be in the store and I would see something I liked, I would be too scared to ask for it – for no real reason. My little brother, being my complete opposite, would ask for everything. Because he asked more than I did he was told “no” a lot more often in comparison, but there were also a lot of times that he was told “yes.” And in the times that he was told “yes” I would wish that I would have voiced what I actually wanted because I totally would have gotten it. Instead I would always wait until my parents or grandparents would invite me to want and urge me to, “Go pick something out,” because I was afraid that wanting too much would make me greedy or high-maintenance or something. And this was me as like a four-year old.
I still have a hard time with the idea of asking for favors, imposing, or being “too much.” I don’t know why it is sometimes hard for me to believe that God wants to give good gifts. I always feel like I’m imposing too much by asking. Is that even possible? To impose “too much” on God?
It was only until last spring that I was shown a little bit of God’s heart in abundant giving and actually understood it from His perspective. I was working at the Rec Center at the time… and let me just say that their hours are not ideal. On Easter weekend, they were to remain open normal hours (even though an overwhelming majority of college students go home to visit family on this particular weekend). This meant that we still had to be fully staffed. Naturally everyone had requested that weekend off, but our boss couldn’t give it to everyone. I was scheduled to work the closing shift that Saturday night – right in the middle of a weekend in which I had already made plans with my family, and they were really important to me. I was very disappointed, but I didn’t expect anything to change. Then out of the blue, my coworker, Chris, took that shift from me. Not only that, he also took everyone else’s shift for that entire weekend. He sat there at that desk all weekend long, for twelve hours each day, so that everyone would be able to visit their families. I cannot even begin to say how much I appreciated that! I could not express my gratitude enough, so as soon as I got back I wanted to do something nice for him. Knowing that he loves food and sweets, I told him that I would make him anything he wanted, and I really meant that. I love to bake so I really would have made him anything, and I would have enjoyed it doing it. I asked him, “Chris, what do you want?” At first he said, “Oh, nothing. You don’t have to go out of your way to do that.” After assuring him that it really was no problem, he finally said that he would actually really like some brownies. Of course I made them for him, but I was a little disappointed that he had asked for so little. I can make some pretty great stuff sometimes, and anyone can make plain old brownies. It could have been better, but he didn’t ask.
Receiving starts by asking.
In my own life, by not asking, I realize that I am claiming self-sufficiency, which is just another form of pride. Saying “I’m-fine-as-is”, in essence is settling. Being self-sufficient robs you of the opportunity to ask for more.
I think when the Lord asks us, “What is it you want?” we settle for much less than what is really in our hearts. Somehow thinking that by asking for less, we have a smaller opportunity to be disappointed. However, God does not disappoint. Or we think we want too much and then feel guilty. Wrong again. Killing off what you want doesn’t make you less greedy. It just makes you numb and apathetic and purposeless. Don’t kill your desires to make you more ”holy.” Desire is actually what compels you to act and accomplish great things for the Kingdom! It draws you near to God.
I think that we don’t ask God for enough. Why not ask Him for everything that comes to mind? Why not be fully dependent on our Creator? Why not expect abundance as sons and daughters of the King?
Sometimes we forget this identity. Notice the absolute language Jesus uses when teaching his disciples about prayer. Jesus says:
“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. “ [LUKE 11:9-13]
I don’t like asking for money from my dad, even though I’m sure he would be willing to give me a lot more than I ask for. The girls in my family are totally wrapped around his finger. My dad adores me, and loves to come through. So does God. That being said, God has so many more children than he does, yet He lavishes His love far more brilliantly. He has greater love and also greater ability and creativity in his provision. And through His acts of abundant love He is glorified. I don’t want to be a princess acting as a pauper because I didn’t understand my Father’s identity. My Father is the sovereign El Elyon – the Most High God.
God must listen to our pitifully small acclamations, expectations, and petitions in prayer and want to say, “Are you talking to Me? I’m not recognizing Myself in this conversation. Are you sure you have the right God?” -Beth Moore
Ask for more.
Lately during the times that I’ve really sat before the Lord, talking his ear off about things that stress me out that I want to commit to him instead, I get to the end of my list and I hear him say, “Nope. We’re not going to end there. Why did you just tell Me all of this if you aren’t going to ask Me to fix it, to redeem it? We’re not going to settle in staying there. Think about it. What is it you want?” Putting your desires into words before the Lord is something that takes courage, but again He says, “Take heart.”
I think God waits to give things to people a lot of the time simply because He wants for them to first realize what they want and then take action by asking Him for it. Realizing their need for Him, recognizing that He is the only way, and trusting He will follow through. This is Christianity.
Think of the thing that is too good to be true. What is it? Let’s be real. The thing you tell yourself you don’t actually want because your scared of what the implications of admitting that would be. Ask him for the thing you don’t ever see happening. Why not go out on a limb and trust God with the thing you think is impossible? Why not?
That’s the mindset I believe God wants us to embrace. One in which we acknowledge that He’ll go above and beyond anything we could imagine and gladly provide an abundant life. Life to the limit. From the wedding wine to the overflowing fisherman’s nets to the leftover loaves and fish from feeding four and five thousand men, Jesus’ miracles were characterized by abundance.
“Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” – ROMANS 8:32
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” -EPHESIANS 3:20
Stop expecting “no” as the answer. Quit giving up prematurely because you expected to receive a “no.” Have the courage to want. And have the courage to ask.
