The Parker house had a sort of magic to it. She knew it the minute she returned though she couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was. It wasn’t the house itself. On its own it was ordinary. So that wasn’t it. Maybe it was just the sweetness that came with the calm and the knowing that this season would not last.
Here, she loved the slightly similar-looking people all characterized by their same quiet sense of humor. She loved, too, the humility that came with merging Disney with Anthropologie. It was truly a miracle that all of her things fit into the shared room. Of course there were real struggles too, hard struggles. The struggle of one became the struggle of all. But they knew how to fight and they fought to win.
The first afternoon family outing comprised of lawn gnome hunting from town to town, garden center to garden center, for the small joy and the laughter that it brought to her face. She knew she was the treasure. Here, she carried a new kind of cross. One that meant picking at a second burger of the day because she knew how they had gone all out creating a beautifully elaborate outdoor meal simply because they knew it was her favorite. She wouldn’t dare invalidate it by saying she’d already done similar with a set of friends. Not a chance.
It was where she was reassured of all she was. Constantly reminded. Digging way, way back, all the way to the roots. She was the same girl with the exact same habits and loves as before. The same ponytail girl without a soul to impress. It’s funny how it is when you let yourself remember. This town… not in part but in full. Embracing all the good that remained and letting go of the bad that no longer mattered. It was a lighter feeling that way.
She felt most alive in a pair of cargo shorts and a purpled logoed v-neck and of course that ponytail. But as she ran out the door, she was reminded, “Where are your earrings? What kind of girl would you be without them?” She loved the paradox of this life. One second, cooking and cleaning and singing and loving, the next playing catch in the park with the boys. And the paradox of bright shiny newness sandwiched in between a country lined road and another comprised of pine trees and dirt roads. BMWs alongside old farm trucks.
She’d wanted adventure in the great wide somewhere – a life of selflessness and serving and sacrifice. To be honest, it’s all she ever really wanted. She would lay down this life in a second. That was the thing. She adapted quickly and she’d trade Colorado for a kingdom much bigger. She could never live for the comfort and she knew it.
That’s exactly why the peace of those first days could not last…did not last. There was more; always more. But when she searched hard for it, it returned like an old friend. And there was something to be said for the quiet.
Above all, she loved the rare days she would put on a favorite dress and sit out among the tulips so obviously not alone. To her, those were the things that spelled richness. The backyard had an enchantment that was maybe only accentuated by the fact that she could only enjoy it in the spare moments. The early times when the sun was so new, and again in the alone times when it was nowhere to be seen at all. Those quiet, still nights with the occasional fire and the occasional company. But no matter what, the green remained constant. If only for this season.
In this season, adventure could be found in the pages and pages that she had found quite by accident. This surprise came in the form of a linen closet not full of linens at all, but books. She didn’t know. She’d only read about the things she loved so dearly this year, all the time expanding her passions and her heart. This summer she’d just have to take adventure at a much more domestic level. Oh, and she loved that too, but it came natural so she took it for granted. It was as if the current domestic life wasn’t quite intense enough, but wasn’t quite sure yet how to one-up it.
If there was one thing that was evident from the beginning, it was this fact: nothing gold can stay. So in the moments when peace felt closer than the storm, she resolved that here and now, she’d enjoy every minute of it. The beautiful and strange peace that filled this garden, because she knew it might be the last time she would get to. At least like this anyway.
“The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.” – ISAIAH 31:17
